Tables and Grandparents, Part V: Welcome

My grandmother Linda always sets an extra place at the table. Whether it’s Judy, her next-door neighbor who makes amazing zucchini bread, or Tim, her construction worker friend who once dressed as Santa Claus at our family’s Christmas celebration, the preparation of extra food for guests is a given for Grandma Linda. Tim, Judy, or her best friend Doris of 50+ years are frequent guests, but occasionally a new friend or family member joins during our family reunions at Christmastime or during summer visits to the Jersey shore. After said new guest piles their plate full of decadent dishes like cucumber salad, succotash, macaroni and cheese, or her famous Pennsylvania Dutch-style noodles with butter-soaked bread bites, she eagerly asks questions: about who they are and what their story is. She’s also known to not shy away from asking about their political opinions, and engaging in some, ahem, lively debate if they differ from hers.

I share this because I think Grandma L embodies the kind of welcome that goes beyond simply inviting someone to sit at a table. Sometimes welcome goes beyond that; it involves bringing our curiosity and our acceptance vocally into the room, by inviting stories and asking the guest to co-create and shape the space. It’s saying, “you’re not only welcome to sit here,” but “you bring value and unique perspectives as you sit here.” Not everybody’s table stories are romantic and pleasant; sometimes the table is hostile. Sometimes it’s the opposite of welcoming. What an opportunity, then, to extend compassion to our guests. And what a gift that the abundance of food and home cooking can create such a space.

Cheers to a summer of extending and receiving welcome: one that affirms who we are and what we bring.

In peace,

Eva

P.S. My next blog entry will be my last on this series. I'll be sharing about my grandfathers.